Headless Torsos

    The Gay Gift Guide for People Who Hate Gay Gift Guides

    Let's be honest. The internet is not short of gifts for gay people. It's short of good gifts for gay people. Search for "gay gifts" and you're immediately confronted with a sea of rainbow mugs, novelty T-shirts, socks, candles and things emblazoned with phrases nobody has actually said since 2016. If that's your thing, great. But if you're buying something for your gay best friend, boyfriend, brother or mate and you'd rather give them something they'll genuinely enjoy, there are much better options.

    We've put together a list for people who would rather give someone a good present than simply put a rainbow on an ordinary one.

    1. Something you can do together

    Our favourite category. Experiences are difficult to get wrong because they don't require the recipient to find somewhere to put them.

    • Dinner
    • Theatre tickets
    • A weekend away
    • Drag bingo
    • A concert
    • A cocktail class
    • A spa day
    • Or something as simple as getting everyone together for a games night

    A game such as Headless Torsos can be particularly good here because it gives the whole group something to do rather than leaving everyone standing around the kitchen making the same small talk for three hours.

    2. Something from an independent queer business

    There are some genuinely brilliant LGBTQ+ artists, designers and small businesses making things worth buying. Look for:

    • Jewellery
    • Artwork
    • Clothing
    • Ceramics
    • Books
    • Stationery
    • Homeware

    You're likely to find something much more distinctive than the latest corporate Pride collection. And your money goes somewhere more interesting too.

    3. Theatre tickets

    For the theatre gay, this is almost cheating.

    • Find a show they haven't seen.
    • Get two tickets.
    • Take them for dinner beforehand.
    • Accept that you'll hear about the production design for the rest of the evening.

    Worth it.

    4. A ridiculous piece of art

    Something weird. Something camp. Something slightly inappropriate. Something that makes you think immediately of your friend. The best art gifts don't necessarily have to be expensive. They just need to have personality.

    5. A proper dinner

    Not a restaurant gift card that they'll forget about. Actually take them somewhere. Choose the restaurant. Make the booking. Turn it into an evening. It's considerably more thoughtful than sending a message saying: "I'll get you dinner sometime." You won't. We both know you won't.

    6. Something for their next holiday

    If your friend is permanently planning a trip, lean into it.

    • A good toiletry bag.
    • A passport holder.
    • A travel journal.
    • A hotel voucher.
    • A nice piece of luggage.
    • Or, if you're feeling generous, an actual holiday.

    7. A game for the whole group

    This is one of those gifts that sounds simple but gets used far more than you'd expect. Especially if your friend is the one who always hosts. Look for something:

    • Easy to learn
    • Funny
    • Competitive enough to get people arguing

    Because nobody wants to spend their Saturday night reading 14 pages of rules.

    8. Something personalised

    But please, for the love of God, make it actually personal. Don't just put someone's name on something. Use:

    • An inside joke
    • A terrible photograph
    • A phrase only the two of you understand
    • Something from that holiday
    • Something from that night

    The more context required to understand the gift, the better.

    9. Drag tickets

    A drag show is already an excellent night out. As a gift, even better.

    • You can dress up.
    • Have dinner.
    • See the show.
    • Inevitably end up somewhere afterwards.

    That's a present with a built-in evening attached.

    10. Something for the gym gay

    If he's permanently at the gym, there is a good chance he has already bought everything he needs. So don't buy another random protein shaker. Get something genuinely good:

    • Quality headphones
    • Training gear
    • A massage gun
    • A nice gym bag
    • Or something he'd normally consider too expensive to buy for himself

    11. Something for the homebody

    Some people genuinely do not want tickets. They want to stay home. Respect it.

    • A beautiful candle
    • Interesting glassware
    • A coffee-table book
    • Good food
    • Something for their kitchen

    Better still, bring it round and stay for dinner.

    12. Something funny

    This is the safest option when you know your friend well. Find something so stupid that you immediately think of them. The ideal gift is something that gets photographed and posted straight into the group chat. It doesn't have to be useful. It just has to be funny.

    13. Something that isn't remotely gay

    This might actually be the most important suggestion on the list. Your friend is gay. He probably knows. He doesn't necessarily need a mug reminding him. Buy something because he likes it: a book about something he's obsessed with, a record, a nice bottle of something, cooking equipment, art, something related to a hobby. Being gay doesn't have to be the theme of every present.

    14. Something that is extremely gay

    Having said that... sometimes it absolutely should be. If your friend loves camp, drag, queer culture and ridiculousness, lean into it. Buy the thing that straight people would walk past. Buy the fabulous thing. Buy the thing that makes absolutely no sense outside the context of your friendship. There's nothing wrong with a very gay present. Just make sure it's his kind of gay.

    15. Give him an excuse to get everyone together

    This is really the answer to the whole problem. When someone has everything, don't try to find something else for them to own. Give them an evening.

    • Get everyone together.
    • Order too much food.
    • Open something cold.
    • Put music on.
    • Play a game.
    • Tell stories.
    • Laugh at things that probably shouldn't be funny.

    Those are the presents people actually remember.

    So, what should you buy?

    The best gay gifts aren't necessarily the ones with the biggest rainbow. They're the ones that make you think: "This is so him." If that's a piece of art, great. If it's theatre tickets, great. If it's a ridiculous object that serves absolutely no practical purpose, even better.

    And if he's the sort of person who has spent far too much of his life on gay dating apps, there's always Headless Torsos. It's a party card game based on real gay dating-app messages. Players compete to come up with the funniest responses, making it particularly good for a group of friends who already have plenty of dating-app stories of their own. It's £24.99, plays 3–10 people, and takes around 30–60 minutes.

    More importantly, you're not just giving someone a box. You're giving them a reason to get everyone together.

    Get Headless Torsos → Because another rainbow mug will probably end up in the cupboard. A good night with your friends might become a story you tell for years.

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